As we approach Valentine’s Day there’s a lot of talk about how to love your honey and improve your relationship. As there should be. It’s important to continually work at relationships.
But what about the most important relationship of all? What about your relationship with yourself? Do you treat yourself as well as you’d like your honey to?
Last night I watched Dr Gary Chapman on Oprah’s Lifeclass – he was talking about his book Love Languages (can you believe that book has sold more each year for the past 2o years?). If you haven’t read the book, there’s a description of each of the Love Languages and the online quiz at the bottom of this post.
While its super helpful to understand what Love Language those around you look for, I want you to focus on yourself for a minute.
Do you treat yourself according to your own Love Language?
If your preference is Words of Affirmation do you tell yourself what a superstar you are every day? Do you have affirmations where you can see them?
If you like Quality Time do you take some quality time just for you each day? Maybe it’s just a few minutes to read a book, soak in the tub or wander around your favorite book store.
Whatever your Love Language make sure you are taking time to love yourself this Valentines Day.
You are the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
You are the most important relationship you’ll ever have.bit.ly/WelDKO
— Sarah Steele (@managingu) February 11, 2013
In the comments below please let us know what your own Love Language is and how you can honor that to yourself each day – let’s give ourselves some inspiration!
Actions
1. Identify your own Love Language
2. Think about how you can show yourself some lovin’ each and every day
3. Commit to putting in the work in your most important relationship and tell yourself how much you love you at least once a day. If you don’t do it, nobody else will. Happy Valentines everyone – remember to let us know in the comments how you honor your Love Language to yourself.
Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Acts of Service
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. You can take the online quiz here. 
Share the Love!
Do you think your circle would enjoy this article? Feel free to share it on social media! I’ve made it super easy! Just click or copy and paste the shareable below!
How to improve your most important relationship via@managingu bit.ly/WelDKO
— Sarah Steele (@managingu) February 11, 2013
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Blessings and Honey
That was a fun quiz Sarah. I’m tied for: quality time and acts of service! For me that translates to more reading, hanging with my kids, and doing stuff for myself like following through on my running and self care routines!
Hi Christie, Glad you enjoyed it. I had fun doing it again last night as well. Self care routines are so important – don’t neglect them. Happy Valentine’s!
I tied for Physical Touch, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. I think the words are the most important to me. I only scored 1 on gifts – hmm, not sure I like that!
I’d forgotten about this book and my own Love Languages – Words of affirmation and Quality time. I’d never clicked that those same things are what I need to give myself for self love – thank you!!
Hi Amanda, You’re welcome – it’s amazing how often we forget the most important person (especially as women). I know you deserve it because you rock! Have fun. Sarah.
This is a beautiful post, now during Valentine’s, and anytime. I think mine are quality time and physical touch. I make sure to have both with my daughter each day and now I see I need them, too.
Tracey, I agree – I love this concept. To be honest, I would have posted this at any time of the year – I just happened to see Dr Chapman on Oprah this Sunday and was inspired
Do you know what your daughter’s love languages are?
I’m Acts of Service…which I knew, because I always say that talk is cheap
) I want someone to demonstrate their love through how they behave and not just by what they say, and that’s what I strive to do too. What an interesting quiz and post, thanks so much!
Hi Mindy, I scored really low on Acts – but would much prefer that! I’m Words of Affirmation which means, if I’m not careful, words speak louder than actions in my heart (although my head knows better) and it just ain’t so.
So fun. My top preference is physical and a close second is acts of service. I love the question of how to apply this to my self. Physical: I can show myself Love by caring for my physical body by nourishing, resting, moving and pleasuring it. And for acts of service I can do things that aren’t fun in service to my future self and life. This is a really nice twist. Thanks for this.
For me actions speak louder than words, but I like the words too! So, I think my primary is Receiving Gifts – and for me this is so NOT about materialism. I love it when my honey “sweeties” me with breakfast in bed or makes me a cup of tea or walks the dog when it is dark and cold. Then I’m a secondary Words of Affirmation because a ‘You are beautiful. I love you.” really brings it home!