How to be more attractive to others

Too often, women crave approval from others.

When your need for external validation stops you being who you truly are, you’re in a no-win situation.

Of course, having those around you who appreciate you is important, but your primary source of approval must come from yourself. We talk more about making sure you have the right people around you in The Success Questions.

Keep your approval rating in your control.

Wholeheartedly approve of yourself right now. What others think of you is their choice, what you think of you is your choice – Sue Patton Theole

The best way to kick the habit of seeking approval from others is to support and approve of yourself. Simple really. And yet, so difficult to actually do if you’ve had a lifetime of seeking validation from others.

I’m not suggesting you become arrogant and ignore anything that needs attention. But very few women are too easy on themselves. How many chances or ‘benefits of the doubt’ have you given friends or loved ones? And how often have you beaten yourself up for days, weeks or even years for your own perceived mistakes?

You aren’t the only person who benefits from your own self approval. 

Authentic self-approval naturally leads to increased approval of others.

Learning self-confidence and being comfortable with giving yourself a deserved pat on the back leads to an aura that others are attracted to. You will become more attractive as you radiate a positive energy and others find they feel better about themselves when around you. And if you approve of yourself you will find yourself naturally being more generous with your approval and praise of others.

Learn to be your own best friend rather than your own worst enemy.

Accept who you are right now and celebrate who you are becoming. Kick the approval habit and rely on yourself for the approval fix.

In the comments I’d love to hear your thoughts on making others feel good in your presence.

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Blessings and Honey

Sarah xx


  1. Great post Sarah! I know I can be really hard on myself while at the same time cutting everyone around me so much slack! Time to give myself some of that slack!


    great title! ….and so true. A person who loves themselves grants others permission to love too. I know that I feel more drawn to those who think well of themselves. Thanks~Cathy

  3. Megan Flatt says:

    I love your point that women are rarely too easy on themselves. That is such a good reminder! I am always happy to dole out compliments, but less apt to be my own cheerleader!

  4. Great post! I’m a lot better at celebrating me than I used to be. And I find myself surprised when I speak with women and discover their need for approval from others – a great reminder for me and an opportunity for me to teach them this great mindset tool and its far reaching potential.

  5. To make others feel better in my presence I focus on being authentic (which is easier than pretending to be something I’m not!) and noticing and commenting on what I genuinely like about them. I stay out of the “what’s missing here” and focus on the “what are they bringing here” and it always goes much smoother!

  6. I recently went through a ‘friend breakup’ – the painful process made me really finally get what loving myself meant and I became my own best friend. Now that I’m truly loving myself it is just amazing how many new and amazing people have entered my life.

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